« One Direction Love for a Massage Therapist? Get out of ‘waiting’ mode – Corriere.it

This is the column of the publication The Heart edited by Massimo Gramellini «7». The 7 of Hearts is the card that indicates the second chance, the chance that appears, and the chance to complete something that has remained incomplete. For us, it is a call to start over, go to the rescue, accept and support change. In which direction? We want to help you choose it: write to [email protected]

Dear Massimo,
I am 47 years old and a single mother of a lively baby girl. I lived with her father for 12 years, and when she was born, we were free souls steeped in responsibilities and our history derailed. After difficult periods, I finally found serenity a year ago. My girlfriend (now 8) and I had a new home, a new life close to my parents. I was a happy mother and daughter, but I forgot what it was like to be a woman. Even (had a debtor’s Groupon voucher) I booked myself a relaxing massage. Other than relaxing! He came straight to the calf and she’s already sailed to other seas. He was my captain and I was in the perfect storm! Classic, isn’t it? The masseur! Now the most feminine part for me was napping in a remote part of my soul, he threw a bucket of water in my face and I woke up in a reality made of pleasure, addiction and unfortunately also love…

“I write his poems, I make pictures of him and gifts, and I dedicate his playlist from SPOTIFY…all of his one sense…

He becomes my inspiration, I write him poems, give him pictures and gifts, allocate him Spotify playlists… all in one direction. A year ago, we saw each other in a rhythm that only a person with a very full life and a partner say they’ve been doing “quick and witty” for ten years, but “love each other and can’t break up.” I still “cuddle” for an hour a week, no I drink coffee, no dinner. But he makes me feel good, he never promised me anything and never cheated on me. Sometimes I see him as a kind of “insertion”, as they say when you take the kids to kindergarten to get them used to the world without you: He accompanies me to the world of love and romantic passion But then I’ll let him go. They walk hand in hand to find my Prince the Magician alone.

Often times, on the other hand, I get the impression that I am tied to an IV and it is he who decides when to drop the drop that will make me feel better: it is addictive, it does not hurt so much and it is very difficult to find a substance! Here comes the question for you: Do I keep those moments of pure joy of the senses that give me charging for a few days, or do I take a clean break? I didn’t want to accept that he wasn’t my soul mate, so I held on to the hope that that explosive energy, those strong hugs, those kisses on the forehead and all those bumps, sighs, hugs, could be the prelude to a story. How do you get rid of addiction?
cheerful

devastating joy,

How do you get rid of psychological addiction? In the meantime, you realize you have one, and you’ve already taken that step. And then … here, as I contemplate the answer to give you, I remember all the addictions with which I have fought all my life, to make up for victories and defeats: smoking (battle win), cheering football (lost), shyness (balanced, but comforted because the supply Ashamed protects from worse problems), the need for approval (lost, lost, lost, but every time I seek revenge). I also suffered from a lot of emotional addiction and unfortunately I have always freed myself from it in the longest way: making the subject of addiction and even the addiction itself sick. I’ve never been able to apply the famous principle of “nail presses on nails” because the old nail was so deep in my body that I had to wait for it to rust to remove it. So I find myself in the ungrateful position of someone about to give you advice that she didn’t have the strength to follow.

Plato said that one-way love is a divine disease. But we must prevent it from matching

The perfect prescription for anticipation of separation: do not lock yourself in solitude, do not make the absent perfect, do not look for it, do not think about it, and above all do not think that it can change; Do not be content with the little he gives you, if that little makes you suffer too much; Don’t put your heart on hold for a decision that will never come. Here, if you remove all the “no”, you will have a faithful picture of my past behavior. Instead try to leave at least some. One way love is a beautiful disease. It will not be healthy, but Plato asserted that it is divine, because it connects you with the eternal energy of love. The genius intuition of the Greek philosopher was that Eros is not the lover but the lover, even if he is not reciprocated. However, like all diseases, you should avoid becoming chronic. And know how to wait for it to pass.